Mr Cat was born in the long gone year of 2013, shortly after the world had finished being cursed by the Mayans. His birthday was in May, the exact day unknown. Possibly the 15th, but being the host of drama if you ask Mr Cat he will tell you it was the 13th of May, and it was a Friday. Then to get the point across, if you had not noticed he will inform you he is a black cat and tell you about the undue racism that leaves more black cats in shelters then any other colour, just because people think they’re unlucky. It has nothing to do with their messy hair that spoils white clothes.
Whilst to the average eye Mr Cat looks just like any other cat he has a hidden secret. He has a white undercoat. This means he has all of the disadvantages of a black cat, and for the family he lives with, none of the advantages.
His hair will not be hidden, on white clothes or black clothes.
This has meant that as time has gone on, bills for washing machines and tumble dryers have become ever higher. If it was not bad enough that other peoples clothes became dirty because of him, Mr Cat is also fond of wearing a full sequined tuxedo suit with bow tie, and top hat to match. All washed thrice daily.
Photographed left, Mr Cat learns of the economic situation.
Mr Cat was horrified to learn that either, he had to give up washing his sequined tuxedo, and clean it just once a week, or he would have to give up his privately cooked 5 Michelin star meals, made by Not Gordon Ramsey himself.
In the short term, things were better, there was less screaming in the kitchen. But it couldn’t last, and Mr Cat could no longer stomach his food.
In the summer of 2017 Mr Cat opened his own stall in the aim to sell plants and wares, so that he could afford better food and an extra packet of treats. But no one brought anything from him. They only cooed and laughed.
Mr Cat had felt so human in his tuxedo’s he had forgotten he was a cat.
To attempt to hide this fact Mr Cat vowed to open an online store, but then, with a mixture of foolishness and narcissism, he named his own store after himself. Which would not have been a problem had he any other name. So his quest continues...